Just thinking.......and worrying........

From my blogs and for those of you who personally know me, you can tell we've had quite a bit going on in our household lately, mainly because of me. Between wrecks, major surgery, epideral shots, and a major strep infection (thought to possibly be staph-MRSA THANK GOD IT WASN'T) we've had some downs lately. But the way we are, we've laughed about it really. You just have to find a way to. Vince and I have not always had the best luck, well except the fact that we found each other. But luck aside ,we are soooooo Blessed by God in our lives together. We have a beautiful, smart, fun, and precious daughter who has brought us 7 years of amazing joy. We both have wonderful families, great friends, careers that we enjoy (for the most part), and over the past two years this incredible roller coaster ride of adoption.

Last night I should've been exhausted. I cleaned my house from top to bottom, when I was supposed to be home resting and recooperating, but it HAD to be done. In the midst of my manic activity I started thinking: Am I nesting? You know when you are in the last trimester of your pregnancy and you have these bursts of energy and start feeling like everything in your house needs to be Chloroxed before baby gets here, well I think I am in that mode. Now that I pretty much know we will be getting our referral next batch, I am freaking out! I don't know how to be a parent to "children". I wonder now how I will get things done between work, housework, homework, skating, etc. How will a baby fit into all of this? I know I felt this way when I was pregnant with Madison: How will I handle this and pay for daycare and clothes and groceries and get everything done that needs to be done? What have I done?-I even asked myself a few times. Of course all was fine, we easily fell into the parenting thing and I am sure that will happen again, but this time I have to fly to the other side of the world! That scares me to death! I get very very anxious of the unknown. Even if it's just visiting a new church, or going to a party where we only know one other couple, I get very uncomfortable. Going to a whole other country, that's HUGE! Everyone I know who has already traveled has given us great advice, and I shouldn't be so worried, we will probably be well more prepared than most people because we have such great friends who've been there to help us. But now that I know we will be traveling in the next few month, I am scared. I have so much to do and will be doing most of it during the holidays, which is hectic enough as it is. If I seem a little nuts, well more so than usual, please just bare with me! I'll be back to normal one of these days! I still can't believe I get to see my sweet baby's face in a matter of a few weeks!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you God! You chose us for the journey, why I am not sure, but we are so glad that you did and look forward to it's continuation!